The Commitment I Craved, The Silence You Gave

The distance between us isn’t because I stopped loving you. It’s because I couldn’t keep watching your actions hurt me. I couldn’t bear seeing you do the very things I begged you not to. You said you gave me distance as you didn’t want to give me hope, but that hope was the only thing keeping me alive. Now, I choose to stay away—not because I hate you, but because being near you hurts more than I can handle and I will have hope. Yes you said that there is no fight between us; fights can be fixed, isn't it. But this can’t. The bond we shared is over, and you made that choice. You said you don't see me as your partner and I can't see you with anyone else as their partner, and hence I decided to walk out. People warned me about you—those who knew you well too said said you wouldn’t stand for me, that you weren’t the right man. But I didn’t listen. I kept choosing you, time and time again, because I believed in the love I saw in your eyes. Were they right about you? Maybe. But if they were, why my heart screams that whatever I felt with you and saw in your eyes was nothing but pure love? why can't I believe the noise around me. Why I keep ignoring your actions and ignored your words when you say you don't want me? Am I a mess or I'm in a delusion of the good side of yours. You say you didn’t cheat, and maybe you didn’t. But you knew how much I loved you, how deeply I cared. And still, you walked away, my tears were just episode for you. You said I wasn’t the one for you. You said you didn’t see me as your partner—does that mean I’m not enough? Did I love you too much, trust you too deeply? Am I not someone with dignity, pride, and honor? What was my mistake? Where did I fail? Was it just because of the cultural differences? Is that the excuse you’re hiding behind, really? Wasn’t I worth fighting for? Wasn’t I worth standing up for, even once? Why wasn’t I enough for you? Where did I fall short? Every time I asked for your time or a trip, you denied and later admitted you did not wanted to have any moments with me, Specially with me and now all I am left with a void as I wanted every moment with you, Specially with you. Did I asked for too much? I still remember the day you screamed in anger: “All you want is me, right? Take me! I told you it’s not possible for me, and you can’t understand that simple thing!” The memories of that day, those word and that action of yours, still haunts me baby. Maybe in a few years, or even a few months, you’ll say those same words again—not to me, but to yourself. “All she wanted was me, and I couldn’t understand that.” Only this time, it won’t be anger. It will be regret. You may find love again, somewhere else, with someone else. But you’ll never find the love I gave you. Not the way I gave it "The Love Without Commitment."

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